Navigating ADHD » Blog

Bullying and ADHD

admin — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 18:19:53 +0000

Jacob is a funny, energetic sixth grader who was diagnosed with ADHD in second grade. He is a bit awkward around the other students in his classroom, but the teacher reports that he is a pleasure to have in class and has one friend that he spends time with at recess. Jacob has accommodations at school to help him stay organized and on task and was doing well up until the second half of the school year. Jacob’s parents noticed that he was more moody and anxious about going to school than usual and seemed to blow up at them over seemingly nothing. They were concerned, but brushed it off as typical pre-teen behavior until a note came home from the teacher that he hadn’t been putting in his usual effort at school.
Later that night, Jacob’s parents sat him down, prepared to implement a strict homework routine, but when they asked the question, “What is going on at school,” they were met with an unexpected flood of tears. Jacob tearfully gushed about how there was a boy at school that tormented him on a daily basis. The bully called him names in front of the other kids and told them all not to play with him at recess. The one friend he did have was avoiding him, as well.
Jacob was too embarrassed to tell anyone about it and was afraid he would make things worse if he were to be a “tattletale.” He tried to ignore it as long as he could, but it was making him miserable on the inside and so he began to crumble on the outside. He showed all of the classic signs of a victim of bullying: moodiness, anxiety, fear of school, and unexplained anger.
Any child can become the victim of bullying, but Jacob is at higher risk because of his ADHD. The outward symptoms of ADHD, such as impulsivity, hyperactivity, or intensity stand out as different from others. Plus, the reaction to the bullying is likely either extreme emotion or extreme passivity. Either way, it will stand out to a bully, who thrives on that power.
Jacob’s parents were shocked that his bullying could be so severe and immediately tried to comfort him, but were at a loss as to how to help.
If you are like Jacob’s parents and your child is being victimized by a bully, here are some strategies to help:
1. Praise your child for coming forward about the bullying. Validate your child’s feelings and reassure him/her that it was the right thing to do in coming forward.
2. Get all of the details and write them down. Try to get a timeline of events. Encourage your child to be honest about his/her actions and reactions to the bullying. Remind your child that he/she needs to be honest about his/her own mistakes so that you can help heal the situation.
3. Contact the principal, school counselor, and teacher to devise an action plan. Share with them all of the details. Tell them you do NOT want peer mediation and that putting the victim and the bully in the same room to “work it out” will further traumatize your child and likely exacerbate the bullying situation once they leave the mediation.
4. Teach your child about bullies. Share your own experiences and outcomes. Explain to your child that children often bully because they have low self-esteem. Remind your child that it doesn’t excuse the behavior. It is just reinforcement that there is nothing “wrong” with your child.
5. Create a positive social experience for your child. Invite another child or two over to play. Do all you can to make it a great play date.
6. Build on your child’s strengths. Engage your child in any activity that he/she enjoys to reinforce that he/she is special and wonderful no matter what the bully says.
7. Tell your child that you love them and that you always will.

Don’t forget about you!

admin — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:38:22 +0000

The demands of raising a child with ADHD can be stressful. Between managing the outbursts, organizing backpacks and muttling through homework hour, there is time for little else. That’s why it is important as caregivers that we take care of ourselves so we can take care of our children. That means letting go of guilt and spending time at the gym or joining a book club. Perhaps a morning walk or spending time with an old friend is in order. It will give you something to look forward to, where the focus is on you, not managing your surroundings. Trust us. Take care of yourself so that you will have the energy to help your child be the best he/she can be!

Back to School!

admin — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:38:52 +0000

The transition from summer to school can be difficult for everyone. It is especially difficult for children with ADHD. You may see an escalation in negative behavior or a high level of anxiety. As difficult as this can be, families need to ride this time out by continuing to be consistent with their expectations. Children with ADHD need high levels of consistency because it offers them safety which they crave in their fast paced inner lives. Talk to them about the upcoming school year and help your child set goals they want to achieve. If you can’t imagine your child talking about goals, don’t worry, the fact that you are trying sends the message that you believe in all that your child dreams of becoming. Your positive outlook will impact your child’s perception of the upcoming year. So take a deep breath and get ready for a great school year!

Navigating ADHD – How it all came together

admin — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:58:01 +0000

It all started over a latte and a chai tea at Starbucks. After hearing about each other through several mutual clients, we decided to formally introduce ourselves. Two hours seemed to fly by as we discovered how well our work complimented each other and that we shared similar goals and outlooks on working with ADHD. One of the main themes we found with the families of our clients is that they felt overwhelmed with the ADHD diagnosis and didn’t have a lot of information on how to help their children succeed. Many parents get an ADHD diagnosis and a prescription for medication, but aren’t given any other tools for supporting their child.
We discovered in our first of many meetings at Starbucks that we have a message for all of the families out there dealing with ADHD. We want you to know that “you are not alone.” There are millions of parents out there with similar experiences and there is Navigating ADHD. We are here to help. Join one of our groups, follow us on Twitter, read our blogs. We look forward to hearing from you!

Sample Blog Post

admin — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:39:45 +0000

We encourage you to visit this page daily to always be informed about the latest news and events at Navigating ADHD.